“Natural” is not a word in our vocabulary.
1. This is the only mascara you will ever need, and maybe the only eyeliner.
What even is this stuff, unicorn blood? Nobody knows, but it makes your lashes thicker, longer, darker, and more separated in three swipes max. You can also use a skinny angled brush and use it as a gel eyeliner. Believe the hype!
2. Steam rollers will curl all hair.
Everyone who has ever come to a makeup team saying their hair “just won’t curl” has been proven wrong by a set of steam rollers. The jankier and more old-school the set, the better.
3. Put eyeliner on AFTER your false eyelashes, it will hide the glue (and your mistakes)!
Use liquid eyeliner to fill in the line between the fake lash and your actual lash line- no one will be the wiser and it will save you from having to redo them with two minutes to curtain.
Not shown: that awful eyelid-tugging feeling when you finally to take the falsies off.
4. Lipstick can double as blush. Don’t try it the other way around.
For a perfect color match that lasts for a whole show (and beyond!), smudge lipstick onto your fingers and blend onto the apples of your cheeks. Make sure you top it off with a little sheer powder to avoid staining your clothes/costumes.
5. Don’t wash your hair the day before you try an elaborate style.
Clean hair slips right out of pins and dry shampoo is just…weird. A day’s worth of grunge primes your hair to hold curl, stay up in buns, and otherwise behave in ways it normally wouldn’t. Embrace your inner Pigpen! You’ll look fabulous.
6. Lipstick is a process, not a product.
Hydrate with a bottle of water, apply lip balm, wait ten minutes, apply foundation or a stain for under-coverage, line your lip shape, ACTUALLY APPLY LIPSTICK,wait five minutes, set with sheer powder. Do you think this is an effing game?
7. Don’t spend money on expensive makeup removers, you can just use cold cream.
Makeup wipes? Who needs them. There is a giant vat of this on every backstage makeup table. Yes, everyone temporarily blinds themselves when they get it in their eyes for the first time, but it really is the best in the business.